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Trissinger

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Why do some people feel they have the right to ~blast~ others with their anger?

I just learned late last night that a very close friend here in town got very rudely and unjustly yelled at over a misunderstanding --- and she was dismissed outrightly from this chiropractic establishment and told never to return.

I'm going to walk, too, if he won't change his attitude. This happened back in September and I feel absolutely awful that I didn't know about it sooner --- my friend felt that since she was accused of gossiping and of hurting his reputation, she had to keep silent for months and tell no one --- very sad. She said what she did to aother professional in that clinic, who should have kept her big mouth shut and who was the first and only person in this region that she told --- she felt she needed to be heard and wasn't being critical, just needed the moral support. (Not his wife, someone else.) I don't want this chiropractor to think that I have gone along with how he's treated my friend, either. He can't get away with that --- it's wrong. He wouldn't even hear her out.

Meanwhile, this dear older friend of mine has been suffering by having been somewhat traumitized by his (and his wife's) extreme rudeness and cruelty towards my friend. (I've known this friend for over 20 years --- she is a true person of integrity and is most kind. She is even praying for this man and his staff.)

I would like to write a calm, reasoned letter explaining that I will leave his chiropractic establishment for good, if he won't re-instate her and if he won't give her one huge, humble and heartfelt apology first. HIs wife and the other professional who broke the private confidence with my friend also need to apologize.

... ...

All three of them are stinkers!

2819 day(s) ago

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Kravenhead

Best Answer

That's a shame that a "Professional" would behave in such an immature manner.
I might even question his judgment in other matters.... such as, if he were my Dr., my own health-care.
Being this happened in a smaller town, I do understand his concern, if what was confided could be damaging to his reputation, but that's still not an excuse.
Where I live, most Drs. could care less.... they all have more patients than they can handle anyway. Unless of course, it were something that could be brought before a board of examiners.

The fact that he didn't hear her out tells me that he may be prone to jump to conclusions, based on limited information.... not a good trait in a Dr.
Nor is allowing emotions to trump professionalism.

On the other hand, you are hearing, as I understand it, one side of the story.
There may be plenty of emotional influence in that version as well.

All of the above, regarding how I would proceed, makes it a tough call.

Since this isn't a fist fight requiring immediate intervention, I might wait until the emotions have had plenty of time to cool, before taking action as a potential peacemaker.... or any other action for that matter.

You're upset because she's your friend... he's upset, concerned for his reputation... she's upset because she's been humiliated.

It sounds like this brew has a little too much upset in the recipe to turn out well.
I think I'd let the flame die while I check the spice rack for a countering ingredient.

Yikes! I didn't even answer your question.
I don't know what makes people think it's alright to go off on others in a public way.
If there's a gripe, it should be discussed coolly and in private.

When it's done in public, both sides pander to the crowd looking for approval, which only exacerbates the situation.

Posted 2819 day(s) ago

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philosopher
2817 day(s) ago
I agree with you.

Trissinger
2817 day(s) ago
There is much I had left out above. I sent you an email on the site about this; I sent the same one to Phil, as well.

I appreciate what you wrote. As I say in my email, I knew I would talk with him. The chiropractor is a good chiropractor; my friend is reliable. He made a mistake this time. I may well still walk with my business and I have several other reasons to do so which I haven't listed here, nor in my email.

Thanks again for your well though out response.

 
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Other Answers (1)

philosopher
I agree with what Kraven said.
There are usually three sides to every story. Person one, person two and the true facts.
Sadly Tris many Professionals do not show people the respect they deserve. Many people however are impossible to please.
I truly prefer not being involved in arguments but some people need to be put in their place. If not they take advantage.
Happy Saturday Tris.

Posted 2818 day(s) ago

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Trissinger
2817 day(s) ago
I do have a few reasons for leaving this chiropractic office, that I haven't listed here nor in the email --- I think that I will likely still walk, in the end.

Trissinger
2817 day(s) ago
Hi Phil, I have sent an site email to you about more details; I have sent the same email to Kraven. There is much I left out, which i didn't feel comfortable writing in the Q above, nor in comments.

Yes, I will talk to the chiropractor.
Thanks for all you wrote, and a very Happy Saturday to you, Phil.

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